An hour at home already on holiday officially
and Im bored.
I could work on my webcomic
I could work on cleaning my room
I could work on making a hair appointment
I could read my book!
I could go and play puzzle quest
I could go make cookies!
I could upload the photos from the weekend onto my computer!
I could take some photos for my projects next term!
But sitting here pretending to do all those things is soooooo much better!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
time to breathe
This past term was super super hectic... ugh.
Drove my patience away from me at the end, swearing like a pirate most of the time at the incompetence of my college. It's gotten to the point where I dont care if I get that A I wanted at the beginning of the year. The mission is just to get out alive with the certificate.
Life has just been the stream of projects you puke out to get the stupid mark and move on and on. Half of the stuff we did was postponed till next term because we were trying to stretch ourselves over too many projects to begin with so the final result of the term seemed to amount to nothing.
At midyear last year we received reports and for the first time actually said something about what we were like as people... I don't want to get into that again but mine wasnt at all accurate compared to school reports on my character. It was like someone who just looked at my marks and judged me on those.
Regardless... I don't want a comment and if its bad I'm going to kick ass.
The last week of college was shadowing at a Photo lab. I went to one near my house and despite the smallness of my area it was quite interesting. I enjoyed myself since the manager and most of the people working there were amazingly nice people. I laughed all the time with the manager, a young guy, who works way too hard and studies for his masters degree when he isnt working, at class or sleeping! I learned a lot about the process of developing, printing with film and digital. And as I was walking out the store at the end I got offered a part time job! I'm really happy since it will be a nice place to work at for not very much money but it will be something I can do in the holidays and once or twice a week during college. When it hits next year too I'll have something to pay back the interest on my loan till I find a better job and it will help my resume lacking in experience!
and so.. let me go enjoy a bit of a holiday! perhaps some work will get done on my side projects, like writing. Star euphoria beckons but I've lost so much drive for it just working for college crap.
toodles
Drove my patience away from me at the end, swearing like a pirate most of the time at the incompetence of my college. It's gotten to the point where I dont care if I get that A I wanted at the beginning of the year. The mission is just to get out alive with the certificate.
Life has just been the stream of projects you puke out to get the stupid mark and move on and on. Half of the stuff we did was postponed till next term because we were trying to stretch ourselves over too many projects to begin with so the final result of the term seemed to amount to nothing.
At midyear last year we received reports and for the first time actually said something about what we were like as people... I don't want to get into that again but mine wasnt at all accurate compared to school reports on my character. It was like someone who just looked at my marks and judged me on those.
Regardless... I don't want a comment and if its bad I'm going to kick ass.
The last week of college was shadowing at a Photo lab. I went to one near my house and despite the smallness of my area it was quite interesting. I enjoyed myself since the manager and most of the people working there were amazingly nice people. I laughed all the time with the manager, a young guy, who works way too hard and studies for his masters degree when he isnt working, at class or sleeping! I learned a lot about the process of developing, printing with film and digital. And as I was walking out the store at the end I got offered a part time job! I'm really happy since it will be a nice place to work at for not very much money but it will be something I can do in the holidays and once or twice a week during college. When it hits next year too I'll have something to pay back the interest on my loan till I find a better job and it will help my resume lacking in experience!
and so.. let me go enjoy a bit of a holiday! perhaps some work will get done on my side projects, like writing. Star euphoria beckons but I've lost so much drive for it just working for college crap.
toodles
Monday, June 1, 2009
Sometimes I think I really just should of enrolled into art school.
Things are seriously hectic at college... Theres hardly any time to get anything done! but I have about two weeks left of hecticness and then Im off for 3 weeks! so joy!
who knows! perhaps the holidays will inspire writing in me or perhaps a webcomic! I wish I had time to actually sit and think about it when Im not tired and dead from a hard days work. Meh!
see you soon
Things are seriously hectic at college... Theres hardly any time to get anything done! but I have about two weeks left of hecticness and then Im off for 3 weeks! so joy!
who knows! perhaps the holidays will inspire writing in me or perhaps a webcomic! I wish I had time to actually sit and think about it when Im not tired and dead from a hard days work. Meh!
see you soon
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Life stumbles on...
Every day is one step closer to getting my diploma and then... who actually knows whats going to happen in real life. Will I even be happy just making money for the sake of paying back this crappy loan. How is anyone ever just happy to carry on day in and day out going to some office doing stuff for 9 hours and going home to sleep on till the next day?
College is really bad at the moment. I have a mountain of projects, deadlines and exams looming around the corner waiting to pin me down and cry for mercy. I got caught yesterday rolling my eyes after the lecturer kept going on about using facebook... facebook of all things. It was as if she was trying to treat me like I was back in primary school. Regardless I dont care but man I wanted to tell her how much she fails.
So many people in my class are already talking about dropping out and just doing something else next year. Nice that they can afford it. Most of them already have their own cars, obscene pocket money. And they presume they have tough lives...
Ugh, I know its not a good thing to focus too much on everything thats bad at the moment but its just part of the slump Im in. I will get over it eventually. What I would like to be doing next year would definitely be something to do with art or photo editing. I'm really beginning to wonder why I didn't do graphic design or something.. though I've heard its just as bad as any other department at my college.
I'm not even specializing in an area of photography till next term. For two terms? so ridiculous. I feel sorry for the people committing themselves to 3 years of this that join next year since they've decided to extend the course just spreading the second year into another year.
Anyway.. I guess I should go and try enjoy my weekend.
College is really bad at the moment. I have a mountain of projects, deadlines and exams looming around the corner waiting to pin me down and cry for mercy. I got caught yesterday rolling my eyes after the lecturer kept going on about using facebook... facebook of all things. It was as if she was trying to treat me like I was back in primary school. Regardless I dont care but man I wanted to tell her how much she fails.
So many people in my class are already talking about dropping out and just doing something else next year. Nice that they can afford it. Most of them already have their own cars, obscene pocket money. And they presume they have tough lives...
Ugh, I know its not a good thing to focus too much on everything thats bad at the moment but its just part of the slump Im in. I will get over it eventually. What I would like to be doing next year would definitely be something to do with art or photo editing. I'm really beginning to wonder why I didn't do graphic design or something.. though I've heard its just as bad as any other department at my college.
I'm not even specializing in an area of photography till next term. For two terms? so ridiculous. I feel sorry for the people committing themselves to 3 years of this that join next year since they've decided to extend the course just spreading the second year into another year.
Anyway.. I guess I should go and try enjoy my weekend.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
End of the holidays...
well.. I did barely any work... which I will have to work my ass off now to catch up on but anyway...
the Bf is back! ^_^ It was funny waiting at the airport for him to arrive. He took quite awhile but I glomped him in public. Had a lovely weekend with him too..
and then on monday morning I wake up a bit scratchy in my throat.. Now the bf had a cold and I thought he had relatively recovered from it and I thought that the throat could just be an irritation. Like usual I thought it will go away and I'll feel better later. Soon it becomes quite horrible and the next day I have a cold and I'm drowning in... whatever colds' are.
Havent been sleeping well without being able to breathe properly and keep waking up to blow my nose. Cold medications havent been helping me at all. And somehow I've been told I cant use nasal spray because its bad for you... instead I get some sort of weird chest rub which just burns and stops the dripping but not the blockage.
And now today I'm feeling much better than yesterday, still tired and snotty and all but better. less blocked and if I stand up my nose clears but if I sit or lie down my nose becomes a impenetrable fortress against air again.
I missed college yesterday, the official starting day and today was a day off. But tomorrow I will go in. Our whole department has moved into another building so its going to be weird having new classrooms again.
the Bf is back! ^_^ It was funny waiting at the airport for him to arrive. He took quite awhile but I glomped him in public. Had a lovely weekend with him too..
and then on monday morning I wake up a bit scratchy in my throat.. Now the bf had a cold and I thought he had relatively recovered from it and I thought that the throat could just be an irritation. Like usual I thought it will go away and I'll feel better later. Soon it becomes quite horrible and the next day I have a cold and I'm drowning in... whatever colds' are.
Havent been sleeping well without being able to breathe properly and keep waking up to blow my nose. Cold medications havent been helping me at all. And somehow I've been told I cant use nasal spray because its bad for you... instead I get some sort of weird chest rub which just burns and stops the dripping but not the blockage.
And now today I'm feeling much better than yesterday, still tired and snotty and all but better. less blocked and if I stand up my nose clears but if I sit or lie down my nose becomes a impenetrable fortress against air again.
I missed college yesterday, the official starting day and today was a day off. But tomorrow I will go in. Our whole department has moved into another building so its going to be weird having new classrooms again.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
HA!
I can't think of something I want to do today.
I like how I made a list of things to do when in dire boredom and how I have managed to do... 3 out of the 14 things I put on it! XD It shows you how fun that list was... considering it was mostly filled with work for college. Ugh, procrastination is horrid when you still have a week to do the things.
I'm supposed to find this Social responsibility thing.. like a cause and take photos for them and make them into some sort of product like a brochure of the business or some such. I don't want to do it period.
I'm not the most social person so Im not good at speaking to new people and then its trying to get to that place, I dont have a car, to take photos while working under the pressure of the onlookers. And lastly I just don't want to.
Anyway, I've been playing around on my tablet again with trying to teach myself how to colour. And since I've recently been playing FF12 I decided to do colour a line art of Fran.
Heres my progress so far, this is about 3 days of about 2 hours each day.. so that 6 hours so far. I still have a lot of retouching to do and colouring yet but I'm enjoying this and I don't think its the most horrid job.
I like how I made a list of things to do when in dire boredom and how I have managed to do... 3 out of the 14 things I put on it! XD It shows you how fun that list was... considering it was mostly filled with work for college. Ugh, procrastination is horrid when you still have a week to do the things.
I'm supposed to find this Social responsibility thing.. like a cause and take photos for them and make them into some sort of product like a brochure of the business or some such. I don't want to do it period.
I'm not the most social person so Im not good at speaking to new people and then its trying to get to that place, I dont have a car, to take photos while working under the pressure of the onlookers. And lastly I just don't want to.
Anyway, I've been playing around on my tablet again with trying to teach myself how to colour. And since I've recently been playing FF12 I decided to do colour a line art of Fran.
Heres my progress so far, this is about 3 days of about 2 hours each day.. so that 6 hours so far. I still have a lot of retouching to do and colouring yet but I'm enjoying this and I don't think its the most horrid job.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Pondering
I guess holidays are horrid for this sort of thing. Especially when I feel such a need to do the best for myself especially since I've worked my ass off to be the person who I am. A person with relative normality. I know that sounds weird but I think if I hadn't worked so hard I probably wouldn't be able to pass off as just another person. Part of it is that I have a slight problem with Short term memory loss. It's not as bad now and I definitely dont use it as a excuse for anything I do. Although sometimes I know its what lets me down in times of great need. Like exams... and then I used to get horribly sick with worrying about doing the best for myself and trying to get somewhere in life.
Just playing a few games, having too much time on my own and being pretty much separated (hes half way across the world for another week) from what I get a lot of happiness from, aka my boyfriend. It seems to have made me focus more on me and who I am, where I'm going and all that shit.
I've just been thinking about how I'm talented and what I want. Theres so many things I love and I know what they are but I don't know where Im most talented and most likely to succeed or where I want to go ultimately. It made me wonder have I just chosen photography because it was some sort of easy way out of my loneliness of 2007 where I was supposedly on a gap year with no direction? I love photography but is it really something I want to do? I'll end up taking photos people want me to take and am I really talented enough to be an artist? do I want people to see my soul in that way? Aaaaaaaah.... good old secretiveness the thing I do so much. Let so little in so I don't get hurt anymore.
So.. I want to do something about it. I've thought about what I would like but is there really such a thing and is it a job even? I don't know. Theres so many things too. I really love gaming, more in terms of how they work and why they work. Storylines and character designs and personalities. I love it all. And I like commenting on that. So is that A reviewer, is that a game designer? is that a game tester? I dont know. I don't know if I could to the intensive game testing that some people do in terms of trying to break the game.
Gosh theres so many of these questions spewing from my head, I will probably keep on thinking about it the whole of next week too.
Just playing a few games, having too much time on my own and being pretty much separated (hes half way across the world for another week) from what I get a lot of happiness from, aka my boyfriend. It seems to have made me focus more on me and who I am, where I'm going and all that shit.
I've just been thinking about how I'm talented and what I want. Theres so many things I love and I know what they are but I don't know where Im most talented and most likely to succeed or where I want to go ultimately. It made me wonder have I just chosen photography because it was some sort of easy way out of my loneliness of 2007 where I was supposedly on a gap year with no direction? I love photography but is it really something I want to do? I'll end up taking photos people want me to take and am I really talented enough to be an artist? do I want people to see my soul in that way? Aaaaaaaah.... good old secretiveness the thing I do so much. Let so little in so I don't get hurt anymore.
So.. I want to do something about it. I've thought about what I would like but is there really such a thing and is it a job even? I don't know. Theres so many things too. I really love gaming, more in terms of how they work and why they work. Storylines and character designs and personalities. I love it all. And I like commenting on that. So is that A reviewer, is that a game designer? is that a game tester? I dont know. I don't know if I could to the intensive game testing that some people do in terms of trying to break the game.
Gosh theres so many of these questions spewing from my head, I will probably keep on thinking about it the whole of next week too.
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